


A Few Millimeters of Bone

by x119



Category: Battle Royale - All Media Types
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-04
Updated: 2018-09-04
Packaged: 2019-07-06 18:48:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 402
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15891927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/x119/pseuds/x119
Summary: Hiroshi wants to fix his nose. It doesn't work out.





	A Few Millimeters of Bone

**Author's Note:**

> Hiroshi is a fucking incel now lmao 
> 
> I wrote this a long time ago and forgot about it but it gave me a good chuckle so here it is
> 
> We can now exploit the Hiroshi respawn mechanic

       "I can't believe you fucking did this to me!" Blood spattered from Hiroshi's mouth as he spoke, holding his twice-broken nose between two fingers. "This was supposed to improve my bone structure, not make me fucking deformed!"

  
      "Fuck off, dude!" Mitsuru shot back, bloody fists clenched in anger. "It doesn't take rocket appliances to know that getting punched in the face ain't gunna make you look better!"

  
       "It's a scientific theory, you dumb sack of shit," Hiroshi continued. "I bet you don't even know what that means!"

  
       "You're right, I don't know what it fucking means! I don't even know what the fuck you're saying half the time!"

  
       "I have a theory," Kazuo interrupted. He had been silently watching the carnage unfold from his chair. Sho and Ryuhei were sitting on the floor near him, also observing.

  
       "If we kill Hiroshi, will his face go back to normal when he revives?" Kazuo continued. "He has sustained many greivous injuries that would certainly render him permanently damaged if normal healing was even possible. However, he returns to normal every time."

       "Normal? Don't fucking patronize me, you Chad," Hiroshi spat. Mitsuru readied his fist for another punch before Kazuo stopped him with a dismissive wave of his hand.

  
       "Listen. I think we should kill him and observe what happens. It would solve your problem as well, Hiroshi. You would likely return to your... default state, if that term is acceptable to you."

  
       "Fine, whatever," Hiroshi said, bringing himself to his knees and scowling up at Mitsuru. "This pathetic Chad-lite can't even do it, anyway. He doesn't have the balls to kill me."

  
       "Oh yeah?!" Mitsuru said. "I can do it! I've killed... all kinds of stuff! I'm hard as fuck!"

  
       "You sure? I saw you out behind the school feeding the stray cats last week. That's not very hard, if you ask me.

  
       "It's hard to protect animals! They don't deserve that shit!"

  
       "I'd kill a cat. I'm not a pussy like you."

  
       "Don't make threats against innocent kitties! I'll fucking kill you for real!"

  
       "Go ahead, idiot!"

  
       "Fuck you!"

       "Fuck you, too!"

  
       The pointless argument was quickly interrupted by Kazuo, who approached Hiroshi's bloodied manlet form from behind and promptly snapped his neck with one quick twist. His body thudded to the floor at Mitsuru's feet. Mitsuru stared down at Hiroshi's corpse, stunned yet impressed by Kazuo's efficiency.

  
       "You were taking too long."


End file.
